For those who haven’t experienced anxiety, it can be hard to understand those who do. Never has the phrase “it’s all in your head” appeared to apply more.
But for those experiencing anxiety, they can find the fears in their head spread into their bodies. Anxiety can have physical symptoms such as shortness of breath, palpitations, sweating, and dizziness.
So even if its origin is “in your head,” it can still be incredibly difficult to manage, and a real and valid issue for those experiencing it.
Like many mental health issues, anxiety is a vicious circle. The person has anxious thoughts, which lead to physical symptoms, which trigger further anxious thoughts.
Anxiety can stop people from living their lives fully – it can stop them from making friends, leaving the house, doing well at work, achieving their goals, and pretty much anything required to live a fulfilling life. And yet, anxiety sufferers are often treated with frustration and even anger by the people closest to them.
I get it. Anxiety is an invisible monster, and it’s easy to believe it doesn’t exist when it has never latched on to you. Anxious people can seem irrational, even delusional to the outside observer.
So what’s the worst thing you can say to the anxious person in your life?
Well, there’s variations on the theme, but it basically comes down to:
You’re getting worked up over nothing.
The thing is, the anxious person probably knows this. They know that the thing they are obsessing over some likely distant hypothetical which the average person wouldn’t think twice about.
Many anxiety sufferers know logically that their fear is irrational. But anxiety isn’t based in logic. It’s based on the primal, paralysing terror of what if.
Because it probably won’t happen, but what if it does?
The pain in my chest likely isn’t a heart attack, but what if it is?
They won’t fire me for minor mistake I made at work, but what if they do?
The anxious person can’t afford to not consider the possibilities, however unlikely. Because if they take their eye off the ball and it does happen, in their eyes, they will only have themselves to blame.
Anxiety is a protective mechanism, however ill-adapted. A lot of people want a life free from anxiety, but they fear what will happen if they are unprepared for every eventuality. So they cling to that anxiety as a protection against the many uncertainties of life.
For people with anxiety, counselling or CBT may be an option. You can find resources for managing anxiety below.
For those who love people with anxiety, try swapping unhelpful responses for helpful ones:
I understand you are worried about this.
What can I do to help?
I am here for you.
As always, take care of yourself.
Charlotte
Resources
Image by John Hain
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